Tag: cancer patient

Cancer Book Club & Other Favorite Reads

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One of my New Year’s resolutions was to break my technology addiction and my first course of action was banning devices from my bedroom. Instead of watching something on my iPad as I fall asleep, I replaced the activity with reading (real books) and have never felt more well rested, energetic and sharp. It’s made me realized how much I’ve missed reading like I did when I was younger. Plus, I’ve read over 45 books this year!

Naturally, some of these books are about cancer.  They consist of either memoirs or “how-to’s” on surviving. Below you’ll find a random, incomplete list my favorites to-date to serve as suggestions if you’re looking for inspiration.

rufusDie Young With Me by Rob Rufus. Read this if you’re a young adult impacted by cancer, lover of punk music and/or don’t subscribe to the kumbaya-ness that often accompanies illness. Personally, I’m a little partial to this story since Rufus and I both live in Nashville and are cancer surviving writers, who aren’t afraid of a few f-bombs.

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanthi. It’s sad, it’s profound, but most of all, it’s beautifully written. Read my complete review here.

Dying to Be Me by Anita Moorjani. Read this book if you believe in miracles or want to believe in miracles by a first hand experience.

radzwillWhat Remains by Carole Radzwill. Another weeper, but the prose is incredible. I found this memoir of loss an example of what our caregivers endure along our side because they are often the forgotten trauma survivors.

Crazy Sexy Cancer by Kris Carr. Read this if you are a newly diagnosed woman and/or interested in means of healing through food, alternative treatments, etc. Better yet, watch the documentary or an episode of Carr on Super Soul Sunday.  

41b5V0a3aFL._SX326_BO1,204,203,200_I Have Cancer and Never Felt Better by Tracy Krulik. Check this out if you’re a fellow pNET, especially if you’re about to go into surgery. I devoured this before my distal pancreatomy and it provided me with many important questions I would have not otherwise asked.

Now, this all being said, I have set up some rules for cancer reading, which may not always be a relaxing escape.

  1. Memoirs only before bed. Rule 1a – the person has to be alive. Rule 1b – it can’t be a section where the subject is talking about a similar trauma (chemo, nausea, etc.) Bringing those feelings and memories to the surface have no place in my bedroom.
  2. No cancer reads on vacation. Time away is officially a cancer-free zone in my family.

Don’t want to read about cancer? Yeah, me neither. Here are a few of my favorites:

The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri. This is my all-time favorite book, ever. The prose is out of this world and tells the story of an immigrant family’s struggle of retaining their culture versus assimilating to America. If you like this book, Lahiri’s Interpreter of Maladies is also worth the time. It was Lahiri’s first book and won the Pulitzer Prize if you needed any further nudging. There’s also a movie based on The Namesake, which, for the first time ever, does justice to the book.

The Moth Presents all These Wonders: True Stories About Facing the Unknown. Read my complete review here. Okay, so there are a few stories about cancer, but they are happy ones.

patchettCommonwealth by Ann Patchett. God, I love Ann Patchett. She lives in Nashville and owns a bookstore I frequent. Between you and I, I sometimes hang out there just to catch a glimpse of her. I wouldn’t be surprised if she thinks I’m a stalker. I just kind of want to soak up some of her genius by breathing the same air.

Hillbilly Elegy by J.D. Vance. An interesting memoir of escaping and growing up in poor Appalachia.

Behold the Dreamers by Imbolo Mbue. A novel an African immigrant family trying to make it in New York City. While this story is fiction, I think it portrays the sacrifices and lengths that foreigners will go to to achieve the American Dream.

If you’re looking for more suggestions, check out my Goodread’s list, which has the last few years of books with ratings.

Also, my “to-read” list is primarily comprised of recommendations from others, so if you have a book that’s touched your life, please share by commenting below.

Up next in the cancer category is Radical Remission by Kelly Turner, Everyday I Fight by Stewart Scott, A Walk with Purpose by Michael Becker and The Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Sarah Knight.

Happy Reading!

Things Are Not Always as They Appear

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(Yes, I know it’s long, but I promise it will be worth your time)

I know…
…that surgery and scar on my belly.
…that uncertainty, wondering and wanting.
…that search for the expert and regular trip to New York City.
…that feeling of just not wanting to exist, but to live.
…that desire to have children and not being confident it will happen.
…how to say, fuck it, and keep going when people tell you to slow down.
…wanting to be normal, but also not wanting to be normal.
…the art of balancing cancer treatment and dream chasing.
…wanting to be anxious for something other than cancer.
…rare disease.
…the wait for more research and treatment options.
…getting through and not giving up.

Yes, I know I’m not Gabe or a runner of her caliber. Actually, I wouldn’t even call myself a runner anymore. I don’t personally know Gabe.  I don’t know exactly what she is going through.

But, I do know there is so much I can relate to in her story. And I know there are many out there who can relate. I applaud her openness when it would be so easy to go quietly into treatment. Instead she chose to share and I feel a little less alone and grateful for the stereotype she is shattering.

I also know if you passed her (or I) on the street, you might (incorrectly) assume we are healthy because we are young and fit. Then, once our truth was revealed, you might (incorrectly) assume we should be at home with a scarf covering a bald head, cup of tea in hand, while staring out a window.

Cancer’s teachings are infinite and this documentary of Gabe’s race reinforces a truth I know all to well.  Things are not always as they appear.

 

Gabe Grunewald is a professional runner and an adenoid cystic carcinoma survivor. Follow her on Twitter, Instagram her website.

 

And if you needed more evidence that things are not always as they appear:

 

 


Waiting Out Hurricane Harvey

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ORIGINAL POST: 8/27/17
UPDATED: 8/30/17

My blog has been quiet these past few weeks. Why? Because I’ve been gallivanting around the southern United States having fun and enjoying summer.

Not only am I feeling great, but there are exciting developments in the recent cancer saga. I returned home from a fantastic two-week trip to New Orleans and Orange Beach, Alabama to discover my insurance covered the first round of PRRT. Hip Hip Hooray! And in even better news, last week’s blood work revealed a 75% tumor marker reduction. This wasn’t a surprise considering how I’m feeling and the significant reduction in my only symptom of facial flushing.

My husband and I decided to take advantage of our good luck and plan a weekend in Galveston Beach before my next scheduled therapy on August 31st.

“NOT SO FAST,” said the universe.

I received a call Thursday from a Coordinator at Excel Diagnostics giving me a heads up on potential therapy delays due to the approaching hurricane. I’m a little embarrassed to say this was the first I was hearing of the situation. See, I’ve been trying to shelter myself from the news because I don’t need any more stress.

But with this development, I tuned in and decided a trip to Galveston during a hurricane was pointless. Ever the planner, I quickly came up with a back-up vacation, which was to take our scheduled flight to Houston Saturday morning and drive to Dallas for the weekend. We held our breath as we headed to the airport with notifications alerting us that we were “On Time”, but 30 minutes before our departure, the flight was cancelled.

Not too worry. I had a Plan C. So, we rented a car in Nashville and are taking a little southern road trip. I’ve always wanted to visit Memphis, Little Rock and Dallas (said not many people).

Last night we stopped in Memphis, got a room at the Peabody and bounced around the lively city on a Saturday night. Today we drove to Little Rock  and visited the Clinton Presidential Library. Tomorrow the plan is to drive to Dallas for more visiting while watching the conditions from (not too) a far. Plan C included hopes that the situation would improve by Wednesday when I’m scheduled at the clinic.

NOT SO FAST…

I can rationalize with myself that worrying about things outside my control (ie, cancer and hurricanes) is a waste of time, but  I can not help but be selfishly stressed over the uncertain timing of my next therapy.

But the truth is that I/we am/are not powerless. We can pray. If you are not a prayer, just replace the word with send good vibes, thoughts, positive energy, etc. The people of Texas need our prayers, especially those in harm’s way and those who will experience medical emergencies. We need to pray for the people whose medical treatment and surgeries will be delayed because of this catastrophe, especially those who are critical. We need to pray for those who will not have the financial resources to recover from such an event. We need to pray for our government, rescue and medical workers who selflessly sacrifice themselves for others.

This has been (yet another) reminder how out of control we really are when it comes to nature and science. We all hold dual citizenship in sickness and health and in safety and harm no matter our color, religion, bank balance, location, gender, orientation and level of power.

So, after all of those prayers, if you have an extra I’d gratefully accept them as I watch and wait from Little Rock tonight and Dallas tomorrow.

***UPDATE: 8/30/17***
Seconds after we crossed the Arkansas-Texas state line, I received an email from Excel Diagnostics rescheduling my treatment to September 12. It was a relief and a disappointment. Still driving towards Dallas, we debated if we should continue and try to get a flight home or just turn the car around. After several failed attempts to call the overwhelmed airline for our options, we decided to drive. By taking turns every couple hours, podcasts, a book on tape and making calls to change our plans, the eight hour drive went surprisingly fast. Fortunately, we were given full refunds for all our reservations, so all we were really out is the time and effort.

My first therapy took a lot of coordinating and I felt good this one was going smooth until the hurricane hit. My heart breaks for those who are not strong enough, too sick and/or don’t know how to navigate this maze. I also feel guilty for complaining when there are people in Texas who’ve lost their homes, animals and loved ones. It will only take me a couple days to re-plan for my next therapy, but it will take some years to recover from this.

“We need each other, and we must care for one another.”
Bill Clinton, 1993 Inaugural Address

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Tonight’s beautiful sunset over Downtown Little Rock