One Year of Hair After Cancer

September 29, 20162 Comments

As featured on curetoday.com

August marked one year since I shaved my head just two weeks after my first round of chemotherapy. I knew the hair loss was coming and decided ahead of time to shave at the first signs of clumps on my pillow. As I wrote in Waiting for Hair: The Toll of Chemotherapy, “Losing my hair wasn’t hard – waiting for it to grow back has been the most challenging.” I still stand by this statement.

When treatment ended, I became obsessed with taking a daily photo so I could see the progress. A watched pot never boils; this saying applies to hair growth, too. It seemed the day I stopped taking regular photos, it started growing like a weed.

Another daily task was scouring Pinterest for secret solutions. I put castor and peppermint oils in my shampoo. I massaged my head to wake up the hair growth follicles. I took biotin. The result: a freakish amount of blond hair on my earlobes that was never there before. Once a friend commented on my unusual amount of ear hair, I stopped and deleted this Pinterest board.

I’m happy to be past the point where unusually short hair prompts a conversation. I loved when other survivors approached me with their words of wisdom and encouragement, but there were also those who opened their mouths without thinking. For instance, there was the TSA official who asked, “What did you cut your hair for?”

With a sarcastic smile, I replied, “It wasn’t voluntary.”

I’m not sure he ever got it, but I questioned his intelligence for commenting on a woman’s hair in the first place.

I shared this story with a fellow survivor who advised me to respond to this question by saying, “I survived cancer!” This prompts celebration and not pity or surprise or embarrassment for asking. Great advice.

After about two months of growth, I looked in the mirror and saw a mullet staring back at me. Initially, I planned to tough it out as I grew it out. My philosophy was, why would I cut off perfectly good hair? However, the mullet lead to a change in strategy. If my hair was going to be short, it might as well be cute and short. Now I go for haircuts every month and only during the last week do I look like Joe Dirt.

For a while, I threatened my husband to dye it purple or pink or that wonderful grey that is so in style. I was in the, “I just survived cancer and I’ll do as I darn well please,” phase. But the reality is, I’m too chicken, which I find funny considering a year ago I was walking around with a bald head and couldn’t care less. Oh, how cancer changes perspectives constantly.

Whenever I’m frustrated with the current status of my hair, I stop myself and say a prayer of gratitude that I have any hair at all, because not so long ago I didn’t. I also think about those in the place where I was a year ago. Like everything in life and in cancer, it is a journey. And as the saying goes, it’s the journey and not the destination.

However, my next destination might be extensions. Stay tuned.

Read this on curetoday.com: One Year of Hair After Cancer

Read all my articles with Cure.

And here’s a photo summary of my hair re-growth:

Lessons in Friendship During Cancer

September 22, 2016January 26, 20171 Comment

As featured on curetoday.com

A cancer diagnosis is a life changing moment. Your body, mind, perspective, spirituality, quality of life, the amount of free time, work, finances, habits and relationships are all about to be shaken up. Change in any one of these categories is bound to bring discomfort to your existence, but all of them at once is beyond overwhelming. What keeps us from drowning in the sea of change is the people in our lives who come to the rescue – our friends and family.

If you’re a survivor reading this, I hope your experience was like mine. During treatment, I had droves of caring friends and family members who swooped in to bless my husband and me with meals; care packages; rides to appointments; and calls and messages to check in. Some of these angels were people I wasn’t even close to before cancer. Nothing is more touching than a person coming out of the woodwork to support you.

However, you might have also had the unfortunate experience of friends who dropped off the face of the Earth the moment cancer entered the picture. To these friends, I admit that it hurt when you didn’t reach out with a message, phone call or visit when I was having a hard time. It still hurts. I get it though. Cancer is so awkward. I’ve come to realize talking about cancer can make people very uncomfortable. Before my diagnosis, and even sometimes now, I don’t know how to respond when someone tells me they have or had cancer. It’s shocking and can throw even the most quick-thinking, eloquent person off their game. However, I’ve also come to realize that the silence was not about me, but about their discomfort.

And then there are the unexpected, new, bonus friendships built because of cancer, mainly consisting of other survivors, caregivers and medical staff. It’s a rare and special occurrence to know someone for a short period of time and be able to understand what they’re going through and have deep discussions about what really matters in life.

Every person who crosses our paths has something to teach us. From the friends who showed up to offer support, I learned to be grateful for their compassion and giving for when they will inevitably need help (hopefully minus cancer). From the silent friends, I learned how to forgive and to not be silent when others need our support. And, from the bonus friends, I learned that there are unexpected, wonderful gifts of cancer.

Read all of my articles with Cure here.

First Descents

September 14, 20161 Comment

Last week, I travelled to Northern California and spent the week having a blast with 15 other cancer survivors through an organization called First Descents (FD). I heard about FD through a fellow survivor who participated in their rock climbing program years ago and raved about the experience. The First Descents website is the best resource to describe their mission, but basically, they are an organization that takes young adult cancer survivors on (FREE) adventure trips, typically consisting of activities such as surfing, rock climbing, kayaking, etc.

I will be writing a couple of pieces about the week, but am still unpacking the experience. So, in the meantime, I’ll share two videos and their website. If you are a cancer survivor and have a love of the outdoors, I highly recommend checking them out. Good times and inspiring people are guaranteed!

http://firstdescents.org