Let me just random ramble, rant, rave and vent about a few things…

WTF Lady at the grocery store…Why do you charge me for a plastic bag? Do you realize that I just spent 100¥ in your store? Had I known I was going to have to pay 1¥ for the bag, I would’ve just said “no” (or bu). I know it’s not a lot of money (about 10 cents), it’s the principle. Next time she tries to pull a fast one like that, I’m going ask her if she’d like a butt kicking and then ask her for 10¥ when I’m done with her. WTF Lady at the grocery store.

WTF Little man on the subway….I just got a pedicure and now you step on my foot. If the paint wasn’t still wet I would karate kick you. You should sleep with one eye open because once this pant dries, it’s on like Donkey Kong. WTF Little man on the subway.

WTF Bartender…I know this isn’t a Captain and Coke. Trust me. I’ve had enough Captain Morgan’s in my life to know the taste and this isn’t it. And don’t argue with me telling me again and again that it is Captain. Whatever is in this glass isn’t what I ordered. Stop pretending you know Western liquors better than Westerners. Pour me a new drink before I seriously freak out. WTF Bartender.

WTF Woman at the English bookstore…Let’s have a little talk. I’m in a special little section of the book stored titled “Imported Books”. I know that I asked you if you had a book titled “Living in China”, but it doesn’t mean that I want the book in Chinese. So don’t you dare tell me I need to go to the Chinese book store. WTF Woman at the English bookstore.

WTF Girl in yoga class…Shave your pits. Seriously, WTF girl in yoga class.

WTF Cars. I’m sleeping. Why do you have to all beep on the street below. It’s like you actually believe that the longer you hold the horn down will actually incentify the police to clear the accident more quickly. WTF Cars.

WTF Danny’s Bagel. The name of your restaurant is “Danny’s Bagel” but when we order a bagel you tell us you don’t have any bagels and sell pizza. Could I recommend that you call the place “Danny’s Pizza”? My opinion is that your whole restaurant is one big scham and that your really running a drug op out of the back. I’m on to you and if you don’t get some bagels in this place, stat, I’ll be making a little visit to the Chinese FBI. WTF Danny’s Bagel.

WTF People on the elevator. I don’t understand your logic. Why do you push to get on the lift before the people exit? Really, your actions make no sense. And as a side note, would it kill you if you didn’t star at me the entire ride? I’m aware of the fact that I look different and you invading my space, just so you can get a closer look isn’t great for my self esteem. WTF People on the elevator.

WTF Department store sales lady….You are smoking crack if you think I am paying 500 Yuan for a little sweater. This isn’t Paris or New York City sister. White does not equal stupid but I am honestly questioning your intelligence. WTF Department store sales lady.

WTF Useless woman in the aisle of the grocery store…First of all, I’m perfectly capable of finding the items listed on the overhead sign on my own. Next, don’t tell me the where the bacon is because I’m not even looking for bacon. Do you think that just because I’m American that I love anything dripping in grease and fat? Well, yes, I love bacon but you need to stop assuming things. Step into my office. Why? Because you’re fired. WTF Useless woman in the grocery store.

Thanks for letting me get those things off my chest everyone.

I get a lot of questions from people about life here, so I thought it would be a good time to address some of the Frequently Asked Questions…

What do you eat?
Refer to “Bon Appetit”. But we pretty much eat everything we would eat back home. There are lots of things in English writing at the stores and I usually hit up an import store once a week for specialty items (ie Nutella for the man).

Does it smell funny?
Yes, it does. Usually no more than any other big city. The one thing that is a little unusual is all of the building going on around our house. I couldn’t even count the number of skyscrapers going up outside our window. Sometimes, we get a nice chemical smell from that.

Is the government reading my emails?
Who knows. Probably. When I registered at the police station, they asked for my email address, so I wouldn’t doubt it.

Is the internet and outside news censored?
Not that I notice. I’m able to access CNN, BBC, MSNBC, etc. without any problem. Sometimes there are China negative articles, so I don’t think the gov’t could possibly catch everything. The biggest difference is that I can not access Facebook regularly and my blog runs really slow.

Do they scan you for a fever when you enter the country?
Yes. I’ve even seen someone taken into a little room in the scanning area. Basically, if you are sick, don’t enter. But, I recently read an article about a woman who was taken into quarantine at the border and, from what she said, it wasn’t a big deal. They just want to make sure you don’t have H1N1.

Do you eat dog or cat?
Not that I’m aware of and I haven’t seen it on the menu here in Guangzhou. I’ve heard than in the outlying areas of the Guangdong province, it’s not that unusual to see it on the menu.

Is everyone really smart?
Ummm…no. Those smart Chinese kids that you used to cheat off of in Algebra class…those are the elite ones.

What do you do all day?
I really don’t want to sit on my butt here. Each day I work out (either yoga or running), study French and Chinese, do household tasks and prepare things for my blog. Believe it or not, I’ve been getting over 100 hits a day. Chances are it’s the Chinese gov’t making sure I don’t say anything bad, but I was seriously overwhelmed by how many readers I have.

Do you have any friends?
Yes. Most of them are Fabien’s co-workers. They are a nice bunch and we’ve had some good times already. Unfortunately, I don’t have an Chinese friends, yet. In day to day life, I have exchanged numbers with a few Chinese girls, but friendship has come of it yet. The best part are their names. I’ve met people named Moon (a guy), Romantic, Rainbow and several Kitties. It’s like there’s a contest to find the stupidest English name possible.

So, I think that’s it but feel free to let me know if there is anything I’ve missed.

Most of my posts make fun of people and are rants of me complaining about something or someone here. I’ve received a few emails and comments from people expressing their concerns that I am not happy or don’t like being here. Contrary to the tone of my past blogs, I really am enjoying my time here and am very thankful for the experience. So, I thought it was time to be more positive and explain why China is fantastic. If you are a pessimist and prefer my negative, complainy posts, go ahead and skip this one and I promise to complain again in the future.

The economy grew 12% in the first quarter and last year 9%. Because of this the country is in big time expansion mode. Everyone has a job, no matter how important or unimportant. A lot of the time, shops just have people who stand in the aisles to direct you to what you are looking for. While, it’s not very efficient, it’s great that these people have a job. Also, looking out my apartment window I couldn’t even count the number of buildings that are going up. Some are office buildings, some apartments, some malls, etc. In the near future I plan to write a blog about my own job search experience but I’ll give you a preview….I have a 100% close ratio. Meaning from every resume I sent, I received an interview followed by an offer. It’s really pretty amazing after coming from a country in a recession.

Next, there is so much amazing stuff to see and it’s all accessible for inexpensive rates. In 2 months, we have been to Hong Kong, all over Thailand and Sanya. In June, I will go to Bali and Beijing with friends. Also, at some point I will visit the Terracotta Warriors in Xi’an, mountains and rivers of Guilin and probably Shanghai, Tokyo and the Philippines. There is no similar landscape in the world and I feel beyond lucky to experience it first hand. Never in my life did I ever dream that I would see all of these wonders.

I love to rip on the Chinese, but them and other Asians really are quite interesting. I love how they are in complete aw of me and other white people. A day doesn’t go by where someone doesn’t scream “hello” at me in the street or that they are so interested in what I’m reading in the Metro. They are also very passive people. In a city of 12 million, crime is pretty rare. I have never once felt unsafe or in danger. And even though Fabien and I get really frustrated with the communication here, they really do try to speak English way more than I try to speak Chinese. Just the other day a kid, about 6 years old came up to us on the subway and asked our names and where we were from. And lastly, I admire them because they are so resilient and accepting of their lives. When it’s hot, I don’t hear anyone complain. When they work Saturday (because everyone works Saturday), it doesn’t seem like a big deal. In China, there are two classes; peasant and non-peasant. While I still believe in the concept of the American dream and working hard to better your life, I also think there is something to be said for just being who/what you are and accepting life. If the same people were in the US, they’d be asking for hand outs and crying how someone did them wrong.

Which leads me to the number one reason I love China and most importantly one. Because Fabien is here. If you don’t want to read my gushes, go ahead and skip to the next paragraph. He is the best boyfriend in the whole wide world. For one, he invited me along on this awesome journey of China and Asia and has been more than generous with me. Knowing that I have been dreaming of Bali for years, he offered to send me (along with two other girls) as a 30th birthday present. I am beyond excited. Next, he is also very conscious about me being here away from friends and family and alone all day. He never fails to ask how my day was and that he wishes he could be home with me instead of at work. Speaking of work, everyday he works really hard to catch the 6:30 shuttle bus so he can make it home to be with me. And in addition to being the best boyfriend in the world, he is also the best man to live with. He usually offers to do the dishes after I cook dinner, brings me flowers, picks up after himself (I think I am the messy one of us) and brings me little bottles of water from work because “they fit perfect in my purse”. Even though I barely remember because I am in a coma, every morning before he leaves for work, he kisses me goodbye. And each night he lays his clothes out in the livingroom so he won’t wake me when he is getting ready. Seriously, he is the most courteous man in the world.

So you see, I do like it here and I am grateful to China and Fabien for giving me time to rest, recharge, regroup and simply enjoy life. I am taking time to smell the roses, see things I never thought I’d see in my life time and exit my comfort zone. Thank you China. You are great.