Tag: Cancer

The Camino: Hopes and Fears of a Cancer Survivor

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As featured on curetoday.com



“May your choices reflect your hopes and dreams, not your fears.” -Nelson Mandela
I’ve found that I must be very intentional to not let fear paralyze my life. When it does creep in, I quickly switch to my gratitude list, taking one moment at a time and reminding myself of Mandela’s quote.

In 2012, I completed half of the El Camino de Santiago (or simply, “the Camino”), a 500-mile path across the northern part of Spain that people (called pilgrims) have been walking for over a thousand years. Camino means “path” in Spanish, and there are several of them throughout Europe that all end at the cathedral in Santiago de Compostela, Spain, only a few miles shy of the Atlantic coast, which was once thought to be the end of the world. The origins of the walk are religious, but people do it nowadays for all kinds of reasons and purposes. I have been blessed to have done a fair amount of traveling in my life, but the Camino is one of my most treasured chapters. For years, I have been wanting to go back to finish the pilgrimage, but there was always a reason to put it off until next year, when the circumstances would seem right. But when next year isn’t guaranteed, your entire thought process changes.

Last summer, I made some new friends who were getting ready to go to Spain to walk the El Camino de Santiago. Being around them as they contemplated equipment, logistics and the physicality of walking 10 to 20 miles a day was a bittersweet emotion. I could not bare the thought of never finishing the journey I began, and I swore to myself that as soon as I was healthy again, I would complete the Camino. So after finishing chemo and recovering from my second abdominal surgery, I put it on the calendar. I began buying equipment and telling people about my trip, but still part of me was holding back. I knew it was a risk, but I scheduled my departure one week after a check-up and results appointment. I did this because I wanted to go with my doctor’s blessing and to be told I was was good for another three months.

However, like many cancer survivors, I’ve developed a bit of a doomsday syndrome. I bought all my stuff from REI, but left the tags on. Fear. I bought travel insurance so I’d be reimbursed when I was told I shouldn’t go. Fear. I wrote this post and held it back until I got the all clear from my doctor. Fear.

All of those acts of fear were completely useless because my scans were clear. As I complete my final draft of this article, I’m excited to be sitting on a flight to Paris. I’ll be spending three weeks making my way through France and Switzerland visiting family and friends who I haven’t seen in over two years due to not being able to travel while I was sick. Then on May 16th, I’ll head to Spain where I’ll spend the next three weeks literally walking across a country, landing in Santiago de Compostela somewhere around June 2.

Cheers to living out hopes and dreams!

To read all of my articles with Cure, click here.

The Bluebird Cafe Reading: The Ordinary World

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On Sunday, I read at the legendary Bluebird Cafe as part of a show, My 2nd Act: Survivor Stories from the Stage.

I’ve been somewhat speechless over the day which was full of many overwhelming emotions, so rather than try to describe an indescribable experience, I’ll just share the video of my essay, The Ordinary World.

To follow my upcoming journey on the El Camino de Santiago, sign up on the right for email updates or check back here. I leave tomorrow (eek!) and will be making my way to Spain via France and Switzerland for some much needed fun before I begin the Camino in Leon, Spain on May 18th.

To read about my first experience on the El Camino de Santiago, check out my blogs from 2012:
Why I’m Kicking Italy to the Curb
Ready, Set, Vamos
Day 1 on the Camino
4 Days to Pamplona
Getting into the Camino Groove
Camino Highs and Lows
Coming Full Circle in Burgos

To learn more about the El Camino de Santiago, check out American Pilgrims on the Camino website.

For even more inspiration, check out the nine other women who shared their stories: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQqrfxhhpofj8XKY0TskQ7T0SoclPtrGl

Thank you!

A Vacation from Cancer

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As featured on curetoday.com

Last week my husband and I traveled to the Dominican Republic for the vacation I’ve been craving since beginning chemotherapy last July. Long before we departed, a pact was made. The island was declared a cancer-free zone. There was to be no mention of the “c” word. Doing so was punishable by a contribution to the swear jar, changing the kitty litter for the rest of the year, or, the worst task of all, laundry.

We were quickly reminded what time of the year it was as the beach was packed with college students. At first, nothing made me feel more old and uncool than having a post-surgery chemo body, avoiding alcohol due to a regenerating liver and rising when our fraternity brother neighbors were coming in from a night of fun. Initially, I was a bit jealous and irritated, but I then decided the carefree and fun environment wasn’t such a bad thing. They were on spring break and I was on a cancer break.

For eight full days, we pretended as if it never happened. I read four books, napped under a palm tree, swam in the warm Caribbean Sea and tipped the beach waiter enough that I never saw the empty bottom of my drink. My husband played hours of beach volleyball and kept a diet of fresh tropical fruits. Both of us played and rested hard. It was absolutely glorious.

A break makes so much sense for cancer patients. Our bodies require rest and relaxation, especially when they’re recovering or fighting an intruder. Treatments, appointments, paperwork, recovering and medications alone are all exhausting. Throw in a job, family or anything else, and fatigue and stress are two things that are guaranteed. And what happens when we’re stressed and fatigued? Our immune system is lowered, leaving us more susceptible to disease. Workers are given vacation time to avoid burnout and recharge their batteries. Students are given breaks to rest their brains. If anyone needs or deserves some time off, it’s cancer patients and their families.

Now, I know everyone can’t take a vacation or a cancer break. When I was in treatment, I had several appointments a week, making a getaway impossible. And when I wasn’t at the hospital, I felt horrible. Also, cancer can devastate finances and the ability to earn income, making a trip low on the priority list compared to paying for treatment and living expenses. So, if these situations apply to you, let me pull out my magic wand, wave it around your current space and hereby declare you on a cancer-free island.

Now go make yourself a drink and do something fun for the next hour, day or week. Remember, no mention of the “c” word.  And most importantly, enjoy. You deserve and need it!

To read more of my Cure articles, click here.