Category: Asia

It Could Happen to You

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First things first….let me apologize for this post. It’s horrifying, graphic and, mostly, humiliating BUT completely necessary. I am writing it because 1) I think it’s funny and 2) to prepare you if you ever travel to Asia or another part of the world where you could encounter what I have. If you are easily grossed out, go ahead and skip this one. Thanks and sorry.

In the past, I had heard rumors about Turkish toilets but I was that ignorant and invincible mentality person….It will never happen to me. The stories always included scary moments of backsplashing and peeing on yourself which were naturally followed by laughs. I can now personally attest that Turkish toilets (also called Squat toilets) are no laughing matter and that the rumors are absolutely 100% true.  Sadly,  backsplash and peeing on yourself are not always the worst case scenarios.

I know your curiosity is higher than it’s ever been before, so go ahead and click this link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squat_toilet

Now, wipe the horror off your face.

When Fabien first arrived in China he told me that the men’s bathroom at his work had a Turkish toilet. Then, the 22 year old that I met on the plane to Beijing also mentioned something about these toilets. I laughed at both stories and thought….This will never happen to me.

So, here we are. Night #2 in China. A large group of us were at a fantastic Japanese restaurant indulging in amazing food, saki and beer. Eventually, it was time to break the seal so I excused myself to the rest room. I ignorantly walked up the stairs, into the rest room and opened the door. My eyes looked at the 2 1/2 foot level. “Where is the toilet?” I go to the next stall. Again, no toilet. Then, I saw the porcelain object, on the floor that resembled the part of the seat that us women complain about touching when a man leaves the seat up. F! Seriously?!?! How could this happen to me? I rolled up my pant legs and with the first release, I completely missed the hole. Insert humiliation here. Thankfully, the next attempt was more successful. Later that night we went to a club that had a regular toilet and I was thrilled, ecstatic and relieved. From this point forward, preference will be given to business’s that have a standing, seat toilet.

Now, after I gave the Squat toilet some thought, there are some advantages:

1) I will build up my leg muscles.
2) My ass will never (hopefully) touch a place that someone else’s ass has touch. Major pro.
3) I will most definitely take my shoes off whenever I enter the apartment resulting in less sweeping and mopping at home.
4) Being that I am an animal lover, I will feel more at one with them. The next time I see Bear squatting, I’ll know exactly what he’s going through.

BUT (and I mean a big BUT), my greatest life fears are now…

1) Having to go #2 outside of the apartment.
2) Being a little tipsy and falling in someone else’s or my own pee (or something worse).
3) That I will encounter something else…..a stall without a door. I’ve heard their out there, but I don’t think, but hope and pray, that it will never happen to me.

So, consider this post a warning to you travelers. Don’t be ignorant like me because it could happen to you.

Everyday People

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I’ve been in China for a little over two days now. And when I say in China, I really, really, really mean it. We are currently staying at a hotel in Foshan. The building is the tallest in the city and being that we are on the 42nd floor, I can see that this little place sprawls for miles. Besides the fact that we are staying in the most luxurious building in the city, it’s very obvious that we are fish out of water here. I’m quite the freak show on the street. Men stare at my boobs and women and children just stare. Some point at us. One family even asked Fabien and I to hold their baby so they could take a picture. I’m like the Paris Hilton of Foshan.

The rumor is that there are more English speaking people in Asia than there are in the United States. I’m not sure where these people are, but I would love to meet one of them and ask if they could help us find an apartment. I’m guessing that whoever is throwing this stat around uses the term “speak English” very loosely. Meaning if someone knows one or two words, “Oh yeah, Wang over there speaks English.” Well, in that case, I also speak Chinese, French and Spanish. In all the millions (and I mean millions) of people that I have encountered, the one who spoke the best English was the hostess at Pizza Hut. But, I am in their country and I will adapt to them. :)

The 28 hour flight over was pretty good. It’s very easy to met other foreigners since we stand out so much. It’s just natural to strike up a conversation with someone because both parties are eager for a taste of familiarity. I have already met so many people who have interesting stories…..

  • Erin, a 22 year old from Pennsylvania has been teaching in Changchun for the past 7 months. She gave me the China lowdown on public toilets (which is what the next blog will be about) and advised me that instead of buying clothes from stores, you can just have them made for a few dollars per outfit. Her and I clicked so much that we almost shared a hotel room when I thought I missed my flight in Beijing.
  • Also on the flight to Beijing, I met another teacher, from St. Louis, who works in a village on the border of the Gobi desert. I struck up a conversation with her because she was wearing a St Patrick’s Day hat and carrying a purple plastic pumpkin that you normally see little kids carrying on Halloween to collect candy. She was bring these items to China to teach her students about American holidays. It takes her 96 hours of travel time to get from St, Louis to there. And I thought 25 hours was a long journey.
  • A man from Florida who is accompanying his 35 year old, single daughter and they are picking up her newly adopted daughter. China is the only place that would allow her to adopt being husbandless.
  • Another man from Pittsburgh who is coming to pick up his wife after navigating the US Immigration maze for 4 years.
  • Two French girls who are also here with their boyfriends. They are starting Chinese classes today at the Guangzhou University. They have both been here for 1 week.
  • A Polish guy named Michael who showed up with another French guy after our dinner Saturday night. He had just arrived from Hong Kong and has been backpacking through Thailand, Laos, Vietnam and Cambodia for the past 2 months.

And then there is us. In the elevator Sunday morning, an Indian man started asking me questions about what I was doing here, where I was from, etc. I told him I was an American, here with my French boyfriend who works for an Automotive Supplier. He was very surprised and said “You don’t hear that everyday.” I never thought about it like that, but it’s just us and I also guess our story is interesting too. Hopefully, the interestingness indicator will continue to grow over the next 6 months.

There are also a couple photo links with pics in the Photo Gallery.

Random Last Thoughts

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I wanted to write one more blog before my departure tomorrow. I couldn’t decide on one particular topic, so this post will be a random babble. If you don’t plan on reading all the blogs, you can go ahead and skip this one. I totally won’t be offended.

25 hours(maybe more)…

I leave Thursday morning and arrive in Guangzhou (which I’ve since discovered is pronounced Gong-joe and not Gong-zoo) Friday night. My flight schedule is Detroit – New York City – Beijing – Guangzhou. That being said, a winter storm is currently hitting New York City, so if I’m delayed any longer than 2 hours, chances are I’ll miss my flight in Beijing. Once I arrive in Guangzhou, I will literally lose an entire day of my life. 19 hours of total flight time. O la vache, as Fabien would say. And the very most exciting part is that I get to fly over the North Pole. How cool is that? And don’t worry, I will wave to Santa.

Stress…

Last week I came down with a sore throat. I ignored for a couple days thinking that it would just go away because I didn’t feel sick. Then on Friday I figured it was time to be proactive and go back to the infamous Dr. Ramm. Fortunately and unfortunately, she was not in and I saw her equally judgmental counterpart, Dr. Weber. After doing a check for strep throat (neg) she advised me that I was probably just stress and running myself down. I advised her that I was not stressed and have actually been relaxing a bit more than usual. She told me that I was stressed again. My thoughts….”Thanks for your concern, but I’m not stressed. My effing throat hurts. Please give me some drugs before I do get stressed because I’m about to get on a plane for 25 hours while I’m sick.” Still no meds. So, I went to the CVS next door and have been chugging Airbourne ever since. Then on Monday, I still was not feeling normal, so I went back. She again referred to her theory that I was “stressed” and reluctantly wrote me a script for Amoxicillin. I already feel better. If she had her way I would’ve walked out with Xanax.

Fabien Update….

After a many days, a Chinese visa was in his possession on Friday.  Good thing since he had a flight to leave Monday.  I’m thinking since I received mine in only a week and his took almost a month and a half, that maybe his company should hire me to handle this. Just a good business idea for them.

So, Fabien left France Monday and arrived in China on Tuesday. No one was there to pick him up the airport. Being the resourceful little fella that he is, he got himself to the hotel just fine.  The plan is to stay in a hotel until we find an apartment. I wasn’t too keen on the whole hotel thing. I’d prefer to get settled in our home and resume life. Then I saw the hotel. Wowza…an amazing room, pool, gym, spa, limo service, etc.. Um….”Fabien, let’s take our time finding an apartment. We don’t want to rush into anything.”

Things (I Think) I’ll Miss…

A few people have been asking me what I’ll miss most. Family, friends, Bear and Cally are a given. So, let me give it a shot and then in a few months we’ll revisit this list.

  • My coffeemaker that makes amazing cinnamon coffee. Don’t forget the half and half too.
  • Salad.
  • Driving.
  • American Chinese Food.
  • Facebook.
  • Hearing responses in English.

And Lastly…Last Thoughts

The other question I’m getting a lot is “Are you excited?” Bah, oui. Very excited. I’m super duper excited to see Fabien. It’s been 17 days since I’ve seen his adorable mug in person. I’m excited to live with him even if he leaves the toilet seat up and takes days to wash his smelly soccer clothes. I’m excited to see China. I’m excited to see the other countries we plan to visit. I’m excited to be somewhere warm. Excited to learn the culture. I could go on and on.

So, the next blog will be live from China. I’m going to try to document my journey there, but, with mother nature on my side (positive thinking), it will be uneventful. Pics to follow. Baibai!