When a foreigner enters China, it is the law that they register at the nearest police department. If you stay in a hotel, the hotel takes care of registration, so Fabien was covered, but not I. After we re-entered China from our weekend in Hong Kong and now that we had a home, I decided that it was time we both comply with Chinese law. Spending time in jail is not how I want to experience Chinese culture. So, we returned from Hong Kong on March 16th and went to the Police Station with our passports that evening. It was apparent that no one at the Station spoke English and we were quickly told, “Tomorrow”. So we came back the next day and we were told the same thing. And again the next day. In the meantime one of Fabien’s co-workers had also registered and informed us that we need a copy of our lease and property documents from our landlord. Oy vey! Another challenging task rolled into one. Fabien decided that it was time to take care of business and he called our old friend, rotten tooth Ken. Both of them agreed that Monday morning, 9:30 a.m. we would meet at his office and all go to the station together. Wow, that was easy (so we thought). At 9:30, on the dot, we were there and Ken frustrated us some more with some irritating details of our lease that we weren’t aware of and then advised us that the landlord would, maybe, (here’s this infuriating word again) be available this afternoon. Fabien forcefully explained that he only had the morning off work to take care of this. Eventually, the landlord showed up, with the necessary documents and we were off to the Station. Once we arrived, a lady stamped our passport copies and instructed us to go to another station. Good old Chinese efficiency. So, we did. We sat down at the registration desk and were pleasantly surprised when the girl spoke English. Ah ha, this shouldn’t be too difficult. She reviewed our passports and saw that we came from Hong Kong almost a week ago.

Police Lady: You are supposed to register within 24 hours of entering the country.
Fabien: We tried. We came to this exact station and were told several times to come back tomorrow.
Polcie Lady: When did you come?
Fabien: Several times.

She then pulled, out of her desk, an sign with hours. Again, good old Chinese efficiency. Wouldn’t it be really easy to post this sign in plain view for a more specific time, other than saying “tomorrow”?

Police Lady: I am suppose to fine you.
Fabien (with attitude): How am I suppose to to know the hours? You should have that sign posted. Do you know the registration hours in France? We came here on the 16th and everyday after that.
Unamused Police Lady: Please give me 100 Yuan.

Fabien was about to start throwing daggers, so I interjected and calmly explained to her again that we came several times and were never told the hours. She did a couple things on the computer and then told us she could not complete our registration today because we did not agree to pay the fine. So Fabien threw 100 Yuan ($10) at her and she gave us the registration forms.  In 30 minutes we where on our way home with our tail between our legs. A police man would deliver the stamped forms to our house within 3 days.

It appears as though our experience was just another example of the universe testing our patience.  Almost all of Fabiens co-workers were late and none of them received a fine.   By chance, we just got the police lady on a power trip.  But now we feel like rebels, the Bonnie & Clyde of China.

When the forms did not show up after 3 days, I went back to the Station to find a man at the registration desk. He quickly printed out our registration forms, stamped them and even apologized for it taking so long.

There are a few new photos of this past weekend in the Photo Gallery. This weekend we’ll be heading out of the city (probably Guilin) and next Friday we are going to Thailand for 10 days. I’m sure after both trips we’ll have great pictures and more funny stories to tell.

Dollar DVD of the Day: Mad Men, Season 1 & 2. I have spend the last week and a half watching 24 episodes of this amazing show. It’s been a while (since Sex and the City) that I was really sad when I didn’t have new episodes to watch.  If you haven’t heard, the series is about an advertising agency on Madison Avenue in the 1960’s. It’s fun to see them so ignorant on products (i.e., in the first episode they deal with the newly released report that cigarettes kill people and the positive spin they put on the report for their client, Lucky Strike). The show is filled with lots of drama, affairs, sexual harassing of office women, drinking and smoking at work, sketchy pasts and clever takes on American products. Both seasons are a big time commitment, but so worth it.

I do understand that I am in a country where I do no speak the same language, but this post is not about my frustrations with the people who only speak Chinese. It is with the people who claim to speak English without putting a disclaimer that they only speak a little and those who actually know the meaning to “yes” and then misuse the word.

On a daily basis there are many communication obstacles that pop up, but I (and usually Fabien) push through them without too much struggle. If you read one of my previous blogs (Keeping it Classy in Guangzhou), I explained the experience of renting an apartment. For weeks now, we have been trying to accomplish a couple important missions. This blog chronicles our quest to have internet in our apartment.

The first two weeks in our apartment, we couldn’t even find the China Telecom store. Then one day, while walking through a mall, I saw it. When I went in, no one spoke a lick of English and I didn’t have my Chinese books, so I decided to try again another day.

The next day I went to the store, I memorized the words “internet” and “apartment” hoping they would understand. Somehow, they weren’t putting two and two together. After about 20 minutes the girl said, in English “You want to go online in your home?” The light bulb went off. Yes! She told me I needed to buy a sim card and a portable wireless router. I bought my computer along so I could make sure it was working before I left store. As soon as she saw my computer she said “You don’t have a Chinese computer?” Okay, seriously? If I can barely get out the two words “apartment” and “internet” then why would I have a Chinese computer. The salesgirl advised me that I needed a different USB plugin for my computer and I’d need to go up the stairs, down the street and left to get this special plugin. BUT, she would be willing to sell me the sim card in the meantime. Ummm…..no thanks. I decided to no go on the wild goose chase and instead go home. China Telecom 1, Stacie & Fabien 0. Good thing because I found out that portable internet is super slow.

The next time was Saturday morning. Fabien woke up determined to “get internet in our apartment by noon”. I couldn’t help but chuckle when he said that knowing that at noon he would probably be having a meltdown in China Telecom (rightfully so). So, he & I went to a different China Telecom where they also spoke a little English. After only a few minutes Fabien communicated what he wanted and they seemed to understand. Then the conversation went like this:

Fabien: When will it be installed?
China Telecom: Yes.
Fabien: When will installation happen?
China Telecom: I guess, Monday.
Fabien: You guess, Monday?
China Telecom: Maybe.
Fabien: Okay, how will I know what time to be home on Monday?
China Telecom: The worker will call you.
Fabien: Does the worker speak English?
China Telecom: Maybe. I guess.

You can see where this is going. After an hour of this type of conversation, all parties agreed that Fabien would come, Monday morning, to their office and they would come install it. However when Monday morning arrived that was merely a point where they would schedule installation, which was Tuesday morning at 10:00. Whatever. We had a day, time and a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

And sure enough, the universe decided to give us a break and the China Telecom installation guy was here at 10 a.m. For the most part, he did get us internet. It doesn’t work on my computer because “It’s an Apple and you need special software.” (which I’ve never heard before). I almost punched him when he looked at my computer and shook his head “no”. Fabien talked to someone in his IT department that advised him we could just buy a router and have wireless thought the apartment. But, we have internet. Hallelujah.

The next blog will be Foreign Frustration Part#2: We Fought the Law and the Law Won.

Also, there are pics from this past weekend of us around town in Guangzhou and at the Zoo (i.e. cuddly panda’s and tigers) in the Photo Gallery.

I should really let Fabien write this post because he is really cheap and passionate about how inexpensive everything is here. Every time we go somewhere he instantly says, “This meal was only 1 euro.” followed by the biggest grin you’ve ever seen.

If an effort to prove to you how inexpensive everything is, I’ve kept track of some of the best deals, converted to US dollars, of course.

• Dinner (rice, beef, vegetables) with a Coke. $1.50
• Monthly subway card. $8
• 1 DVD. Less than $1 (I’ve talked the the DVD guy on the corner into 3 for $1) (See below for my Dollar DVD of the Day)
• 2 hour massage minus the happy ending (that was for you, Ryan). $12
• 1 hour cab ride. $15
• 6 inch sub, chips and drink at Subway. $3
• 1 cup of Starbucks Cafe Americano and blueberry muffin. $6 (Okay, no change here)
• 1 Tiger beer (local brew), 1 Guinness and 2 appetizers at our new neighborhood bar. $10
• 1 French Baguette. $1
• Taylor Swift CD. $7
• 1 round trip train ticket to Hong Kong (2 hours each way). $40

I know you are probably really jealous and angry right now, but that is not the motive behind this post. The goal is to advise you of what a great deal everything is here so you will come visit. Yes, the flight is expensive (direct from Detroit to Hong Kong is $1,100) and you will probably have to use a Squat toilet BUT I think you could justify the humiliation and expense for $12 massages, custom made clothes and $1 DVD’s. See you soon!

Dollar DVD of the Day
I have a lot of time on my hands these days and buying DVD’s is cheaper than renting them, so I’m watching a lot of movies that I’ve wanted to see for a while. When I see a really good one, I’ll go ahead and share. This week I recommend “Love Happens” with Aaron Eckhart and Jennifer Aniston. It’s definitely for the ladies as it’s guaranteed to make you cry. There are a couple unnecessary, cheesy parts, but overall, it is a great movie about a guy dealing with the loss of his wife. And the soundtrack is simply amazing, almost so awesome that you should watch it for that reason alone. Let me know your thoughts.

There are also some pictures posted of our weekend in Hong Kong in the Photo Gallery.